Plan B is the new Plan A
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
