I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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