I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
