i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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