The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
