I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
