Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
