she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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