if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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