your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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