It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
