I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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