I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
