she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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