For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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