One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
