you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Terrible idea I love it
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
