I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
