it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
