DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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