Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize