When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
