He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
