That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
