life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
