the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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