and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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