Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
