you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize