i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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