it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
