My Higher Power is John Stamos
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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