she was so not down for the gang bang
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
