Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
