she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
