Pappa wants mamma naked
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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