that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
