Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
