things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
