it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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