Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
