apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
