her vagine was all disorganized.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
