I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
