I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
