JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I enjoy the company of your penis
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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