People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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