that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
