In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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