If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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