I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
