hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
