You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
