dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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