Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize