I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
