How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
