Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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