Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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