I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
