Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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