My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
