Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
