I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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